LEAVING
THE YARD
Polygamy Seen Through The Eyes of a Once-Silenced Girl
A memoir about the courage to step out of the gate and discover what lies beyond —
family, faith, loss, and finding oneself
Deb grew up inside a world that called itself holy, and the world beyond their yard wicked and dangerous.
From the outside, it was known as the polygamous organization Apostolic United Brethren. Inside, a religious experiment of her father’s went by another name: The Order. His was a private system of polygamy with its own rules of obedience. In Deb’s innocence as a preteen girl, all she knew was that she adored her father, a man of striking intelligence and unsettling distance. She loved her mother fiercely while learning to navigate a household of many of her father’s wives, or “aunts” where affection and cruelty could share the same face.
Hunger was constant, poverty reframed as a virtue, and compliance meant survival. As she grew, Deb was faced with internal questions that haunted her: what it meant to be a girl in a system built by men, whether love could exist without submission, and whether God truly required hierarchy, fear, and shame. Right in the midst of chaos, hypocrisy and loss, she discovers what it will take to awaken inside a world that depends on silent obedience—especially from females.
There was darkness. There was also Deb’s exploration and her wit, shared in giggles and whispers. There were astonishing moments of spiritual contact that arrived uninvited and refused to be contained. God, as Deb would come to encounter the divine for herself, was nothing like what she had been taught.
This memoir is not a story of easy escape or simple villains. It is the story of what it takes for a girl to become conscious inside a system designed to prevent it. Of a child who wanted – above all else – to be seen, cherished, and understood, who would one day have to fight for gifts she did not yet know how to name.
Told with unflinching honesty, lyrical insight, and a surprising thread of dark humor, this is a powerful examination of power, belief, and the quiet courage it takes to question the world that raised you.
For readers drawn to memoirs about closed communities, spiritual control, and the making of a self under pressure, Deb’s story is a harrowing human account of what it costs to grow up inside someone else’s experiment—and what it takes to reclaim one’s own mind…and soul.
Meet the Author
Deb’s purpose is to encourage others in making impactful life decisions; to honor their stories, claim their God-given right to reinvent themselves, and to use their experiences to lift and empower others.
As the tenth of forty children, Deb Collins escaped the mental chains of polygamy and poverty by her mid-twenties, taking two young sons with her.
She is the author of the soon-to-be-released memoir, Leaving the Yard: Polygamy Seen Through the Eyes of a Once-Silenced Girl. Her inspirational story lifts and empowers women who, despite their personal challenges, are now choosing their own dreams over limiting dogma.
As a certified life coach and facilitator, she is the founder of My Reinvented Life, Inc., a non-profit dedicated to supporting individuals embracing their own cultural transitions.
She is the mother of three biological sons as well three additional “bonus” children. She relishes time with her grandchildren and loves the mountains, writing, quilting, healthy cooking and playing with her beagles.
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